Actually, there was a time -- not so long ago, really -- when Americans did, tuning in in record numbers. It was like the Super Bowl with evening wear. But in 2009, the thought of seeing 52 young women (the extra two are for Miss District of Columbia and Miss U.S. Virgin Islands) awkwardly prance around in bikinis and high heels (there's a look you see in real life a lot) and showing off their hokey "talents" like tap dancing and belting out their rendition of "Home" from The Wiz, seems not just like bad programming, but embarrassingly out-of-step with the times. And the fact that the mirrored stage made the whole thing look like it was being broadcast live from the Champagne Room at Cheetah's, didn't help matters either. Watching it, you couldn't help thinking that every 10 minutes of air time set the women's movement back another decade -- a sad situation that even host Mario Lopez, jockeying to become the poor-man's Seacrest, couldn't right. What, was Joey Fatone busy?