Making vow to wait for marriage

By Kelly Soderlund

The Journal Gazette

Kurey

Samuel Hoffman/The Journal Gazette

Mary-Louise Kurey, former Miss America finalist, talks Thursday at Bishop Luers High School about making Tough Decisions About Sex.

Bishop Luers students were instructed Thursday to abstain from sex until marriage by a former Miss America finalist who has made a career out of publicizing her choice to remain a virgin until her wedding night.

Mary-Louise Kurey, 31, spoke to nearly 600 students at Bishop Luers High School on Thursday afternoon and almost 1,000 students at Bishop Dwenger High School in the morning. Kurey advised students against having sex before marriage, viewing pornography and choosing abortion over adoption or raising a child.

In describing the choices she made in life to bring her to her happy marriage, Kurey talked animatedly as she told anecdotes and brought students up to the stage to visually illustrate her points.

Kurey was crowned Miss Wisconsin in 1999 and was named a finalist in the Miss America pageant that same year.

Her platform for the competition was abstinence until marriage and she has since been working as the director of the Archdiocese of Chicago’s Respect Life office. She is the author of “Standing with Courage: Confronting Tough Decisions about Sex,” and has appeared on numerous talk shows such as “Politically Incorrect With Bill Maher” and the “Sally Jesse Raphael Show.”

After growing up outside Milwaukee, having her locker next to a drug dealer’s in seventh grade, Kurey said she made the decision then to not use drugs, not drink alcohol and not have sex until she was married.

“Chastity is not saying sex is bad,” Kurey said. “It’s saying this gift of sexuality is a beautiful thing.”

Kurey said her husband of three years also remained a virgin until their wedding night and said it was worth the wait.

“It takes a real man to wait,” Kurey said.

Though Kurey might have chosen to abstain from sex until marriage, many of her friends did not. She shared a story of one friend who got pregnant when they were 15 despite using condoms. The friend opted to have the baby, but her parents threw her out of the house and she was forced to move in with her boyfriend and his family.

Kurey said the friend and her boyfriend later broke up and though she says her daughter is the light of her life, she often wonders aloud what her life would be like if she had made the same choice Kurey had.

Kurey also told the story of her college roommate, who became pregnant and had an abortion. Her roommate was so haunted by her choice that she developed an eating disorder and later tried to commit suicide, Kurey said.

She cautioned the teens that using condoms and taking birth control pills does not mean they are totally safe from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. She also relayed that those who have already had sex can make a new vow to remain abstinent until marriage.

Kurey brought up four students and spaced them out on the stage. One student represented birth, another represented someone at 17. Another student was placed near the 17-year-old and represented someone 26 years old, the average age someone gets married in the United States. Finally, a student stood at the far end of the stage to represent an 85-year-old.

Kurey asked the students in the audience whether they were thinking about getting married soon. None raised their hands.

She then pointed out the small space between the 17-year-old and the 26-year-old and said the choices people make in between those ages make a big difference in how their lives turn out.

“Chastity really helps us choose well,” Kurey said.

Remaining abstinent during that time will remove the burden of worrying about pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases or that their boyfriends or girlfriends are just using them for sex, she said.

Bishop Luers freshman Lyndi Mungovan, 15, said Kurey didn’t tell her anything she hadn’t heard before but it was good to hear what she had been taught at school.

“I got a lot out of it and really understood what she saying.” Mungovan said. “Most of it I think I knew about; she just put it more into detail.”

ksoderlund@jg.net

Source: http://www.fortwayne.com/mld/journalgazette/14450781.htm