Oh, that game between the Seattle Seahawks and the Dallas Cowboys. So much tension and so much elation when that clock finally ran out. Then, the formidable Chicago Bears. No one thought this game would go as far as it did. We made it into overtime. Could we go all the way? Sports fans around the city were hoping for a repeat of a Seahawk Super Bowl, fantasizing about the bean dip and cold-cut platters that would grace super parties across the Puget Sound region.
However, our hard-working Seattle Seahawks lost to the Bears, leaving us in the celebratory lurch. What to do? Sure, we can pick a favorite team to support for the Feb. 4 game, but why wait? I suggest we release our whoop during the upcoming Miss America pageant, to be aired Monday night on CMT (Country Music Television).
Normally I might avoid a televised pageant, but this year, our Miss Washington (Kristen Eddings) looks like she will obliterate the competition, smashing them into the ground like insects (but with poise and grace).
Eddings won the title of Miss Washington as Miss Kitsap, and her hometown paper, The Kitsap Sun, will be following her to the magical pageant-land of Las Vegas to report from the sidelines. A large group of supporters has traveled from Washington to Las Vegas as well and, according to the blog Fun Bus Chatter, the state of Washington represents the largest number of out-of-state supporters after Oklahoma. If you need a place to party on Monday night, Kitsap County is the place to be.
If you are thinking there is too much disconnect between the Miss America pageant and football, set your wayback machine to 1971. A young lady from Denton, Texas by the name of Phyllis George was crowned Miss America and went on to become the first female sportscaster in America as co-anchor of the hugely popular "NFL Today Show." She co-hosted three Super Bowl broadcasts as well, so there.
You may be wondering what you need to ensure a successful Miss America party. Obviously, you will need beer. You need to treat this party just as you would a rollicking sports-related event. And be sure to create a betting pool similar to those you find at any sport party. Do your research by perusing the pageant's Web site to scope out choices for runners-up.
Certainly there are drinking games that can be fashioned around a pageant. If a contestant trips, take a drink. Every time God is mentioned, take a drink. Whenever you hear the word America take two drinks. And speaking of drinks, did you see the photos of the way-too-inebriated Katie Rees, ex-Miss Nevada USA? I was hungover just looking at them. She was de-throned after photographs of her enjoying a night out on the town surfaced publicly. It would appear that she let a bit too much of her native Florida charm out that night. The photos are very rude and extremely tacky, worlds away from the photos of ex-Miss America Vanessa Williams that ended up in Penthouse, and are responsible for getting her drop-kicked from her title.
Along with the drinking games, there is lots of old-fashioned immature merriment to be had by gently making fun of the other contestants, and here's one we can start with immediately: Miss Tennessee, Blaire Ashley Pancake. Yes, Pancake. Miss Wisconsin's "Novelty Baton Dance" surely will be an easy target as well.
The young women in this pageant will compete with platform issues ranging from asthma awareness to identity theft, with scholastic ambitions that include doctorates in neuropsychology as well as minors in event coordination. Kristen Eddings, our Miss Washington, will be facing a tough team of adversaries, and I am looking forward to seeing her wipe the floor with their fresh little faces, with an eloquence worthy of Miss America.
TKPN
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