Thursday, June 15, 2006

There she goes, Miss America ...

Jennifer Berry (l.) of Oklahoma, with Miss Georgia, Monica Pang

Whether you looked at the old Miss America pageants as television's last outpost of genteel feminine civility or as a surreal parody of actual human behavior, you will acknowledge they had a style of their own.

No imitator ever quite captured the nuance and attitude of Miss America, which as early as the 1940s had separated itself from the beauty pageant pack and become a unique mix of the America we had and the America we wanted.

It is precisely because of this historic singularity that the producers of the projected 2007 Miss America pageant should do the right thing and kill the old girl in her tracks.

According to an announcement Monday from the Miss America organization, the 2007 pageant begins with the taping of a seven-part "Finding Miss America" documentary in Las Vegas Sept. 5-13.

Camera crews will film 52 women as they make their way through the swimsuit, talent and evening wear competitions.

The edited footage will then be aired over a week on Country Music Television in January.

Viewers will be invited to call or go online and vote for their favorites. The 15 winners will compete in the finals, which CMT will air on a yet-to-be-determined date later in January.

Officially, as noted, this seven-parter is a "documentary." But is there anyone else out there who thinks this has the very strong aroma of reality TV?

Now it's true that reality TV and documentaries have shared turf for a while. It's also true that the Miss America people are unlikely to go as far as other pageants in viewership-boosting devices.

There's no indication, for instance, that Miss America contestants will be invited to have a bucket of fish guts poured over their pretty little heads, as 2005 Miss USA contestants were.

But Miss America doesn't have to go that far to stop being Miss America. It's no longer America's pageant. Hasn't been for years. It's a nomad TV production being peddled to whatever town can promise enough glitter to make it temporarily competitive in today's TV world.

For better or worse, there's obviously a market for this kind of show. Just as obviously, it can be created without dragging Miss America into it.

Like an old basketball player in danger of staying on the court too long, Miss America should be allowed to take a final bow and leave the building with one of the 20th century's great pop culture scrapbooks.

She shouldn't kick around on the fringes of the cable universe until one day she just spins off into space.



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